XXXI HYMNS
TO THE STAR GODDESS
Who is Not
BY XIII: which is ACHAD
I. Invocation
Mother of the Sun, Whose Body is White with the Milk of the
Stars, bend upon Thy servant and impart unto him Thy Secret Kiss!
Enkindle within him the Holy Ecstasy Thou hast promised unto
them that love Thee; the Ecstasy which redeemeth from all pain.
Hast thou not proclaimed: All the sorrows are but shadows,
they pass and are done, but there is that which remains? That the
Universe is Pure Joy-that Thou givest unimaginable Joys on
Earth--that Thou demandest naught in sacrifice?
Let me then rejoice, for therein may I serve Thee most fully.
Let it be Thy Joy to see my joy; even as Thou hast promised in
Thy Holy Book!
Now, therefore, am I Joyful in Thy Love.
AUMN
II. The Brook
I wandered beside the running stream, and mine eyes caught the
glint of Thy Starry Orbs in the swirling waters.
So is it with my mind; it flows on towards the Great Sea of
Understanding wherein I may come to know Thee more fully.
Sometimes, as it journeys, it threatens to overflow its banks
in its eagerness to reflect a wider image of Thine Infinite Body.
Ah! How the very stones, over which flow the life of my being,
thrill at the tender caress of Thy reflected Image.
Thou, too, art Matter; it is I -- Thy Complement -- who am
motion! Therefore these very stones are of Thee, but the Spirit
-- the Life -- is the very Self of me; mine Inmost Being.
Flow on, O Stream! Flow on, O Life! Towards the Great Sea of
Understanding, the Great Mother.
III. The Rose Garden
Long have I lain and waited for Thee in the Rose Garden of
Life; yet ever Thou withholdest Thyself from mine Understanding.
As I lay I contemplated Thy nature as that of an Infinite
Rose.
Petals, petals, petals.. but where, O Beauteous One, is Thy
Heart?
Hast Thou no Heart? Are Thy petals Infinite so that I may
never reach the Core of Thy Being?
Yet, Thou hast said: "I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or
purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple,
and drunkeness of the innermost sense, desire you: Come unto
me!"
Yea! Mine innermost sense is drunken; it is intoxicated upon
the Dew of the Rose. Thy Heart is my Heart; there is no
difference, O Beloved.
When I shall have penetrated to the Heart of Thine Infinite
Rose, there shall I find Myself.
But I shall never come to myself---only to Thee.
IV. The Fox Glove
Tall and straight as a Fox Glove do I stand before Thee,
Mother of Heaven.
The flower of my being is given over to a strange conceit; I
grow up towards the Stars and not towards the Sun.
Art Thou not Mother of the Sun?
Thus have I blasphemed the Lord and Giver of Life for Thy
sake. Yet am I not ashamed, for in forgetting the Sun I am become
the Sun--Thy Son--yet a thousand times more Thy Lover.
The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but
now I have nowhere to lay my head; for tall and straight as a Fox
Glove do I stand before Thee. My resting place is the Womb of the
Stars.
Yet all that I may comprehend of Thine Infinite Body is but as
the Glove upon one of Thy soft sweet hands, touching the Earth,
not hurting the little flowers.
V. The Storm
A Dark Night and the Storm. The lightening flashes between
Thee and me. I am dazzled so that I see Thee not.
So in the depths of my being flash the fires of life; they
blind me to the Understanding of Thee and Thine Infinite Body of
Stars.
Yet I see Thee reflected in the body of her I love, as we lie
with quivering limbs awaiting the coming of the sound of thunder.
She fears the thunder, and turns within herself for
consolation.
But even there the Lightning flameth, for I have loosed the
fires of my being within the dark recess---in honour of the Storm
and of Thine Infinite Body which I see not.
VI. The Hole in The Roof
Once I knew an ancient serpent. He delighted to bask in the
Sunshine which penetrated through a tiny hole in the roof of the
cave.
He was old and very wise.
He said: "Upon me is concentrated the Light of the whole
Universe."
But a little brown beetle, who had long lived in the cave with
him, looked up, and spreading his wings passed out through the
hole in roof---into the Infinite Beyond.
Thus, forsaking wisdom, would I come to Thee, Beloved Lady of
the Starry Heavens.
VII. The Design
Strange curves: and every Curve a Number woven into a Musical
and Harmonious Pattern.
Such was the design showed me by my friend when first we met.
It was like an exchange of greetings by means of an inward
recognition.
Oh! Could I but grasp the Ever-changing Design of Thy Star
Body, Mother of Heaven!
Yet, it is written: "Every man and every woman is a star.
Every number is infinite, there is no difference."
Such then is Life, for those who love Thee: Strange Curves,
and every Curve a Number woven into a Musical and Harmonious
Design.
VIII. The Snow Drift
My body was blue as Thine, O Beloved, when they found me. I
was stiff as if held in a close embrace. Nor was I conscious of
aught but Thee, till the small fires of Earth brought me back
with an agony of tingling pain.
How came I to be lost in the snow-drift?
I remember how I had taken shelter from the blinding storm.
The snow fell about me, and I waited, turning my thought to Thee.
Then did I realize how every snow-flake is built as a tiny
star. I looked closer, burying my face in the white pile, as in
Thy Bosom.
Mine arms embraced the snow-drift; I clung to it in a mad
ecstacy.
Thus would I have pressed Thy Body to mine, wert Thou not
Infinite and I but as tiny as a star-flake.
So was my body frozen---as by the utmost cold of inter-stellar
space.
It was blue as Thine when they found me locked in Thine
embrace.
IX. Daylight
In the Daylight I see not Thy Body of Stars, O Beloved.
The little light of the Sun veils the Great Light of the
Stars, for to-day Thou seemest distant.
The Sun burns like a great Torch, and Earth seems as one of
His little Spheres, filled with life.
I am but a tiny spermatozoon, but within me is the fiery and
concentrated essence of Life.
Draw me up into Thyself, O Sun! Project me into the Body of
Our Lady Nuit!
Thus shall a new Star be born, and I shall see Thee even in
the Daylight, O Beloved.
X. The Bird
Once I bought a little bird; his cage was very small; it had
only one perch. He was so young he had not even learned to sing,
but he chirped gladly when I brought him home.
Then I raised the bars of his cage, and without a moment's
hesitation he flew out into the room, and spying the cage of the
love-birds, perched upon it and examined it carefully.
Not long afterwards another and stronger cage was obtained for
the love-birds, for they had pecked through some of the frail
bars. When the little bird was offered the discarded cage, he
quickly hopped from his tiny one to theirs.
Now he has three perches and room for his tail, and when we
open the door of his cage he refuses to come out. Perhaps he
fears to lose what he had once coveted and then obtained.
Herein lies the secret of Government. Give the people what
will make them reasonably comfortable; let them have three
perches and room for their tails; and forgetting their slavery
and restrictions, they will be content.
Hast Thou not said "The slaves shall serve." Lady of
the Starry Heaven?
XI. The Moral
There is another moral to the story of the little bird. Having
gained his desire for a larger cage, he forgot his longing for
Freedom.
The door remained open; the room was before him, wherein he
could stretch his wings and fly.
Yet he preferred his cage.
The wide world might have been his had he known how to use it,
but he was not ready for that; he would have perished of cold had
I let him out into the wintry snow.
Let those who would travel the Mystic Path remember this:
Earth Consciousness is an illusion and limitation. When it frets
us, like a little cage, our chance for greater freedom comes.
But when a larger cage is offered---when we obtain
Dhyana---let us not rest there thinking ourselves free. The door
is open, Samadhi lies beyond, and beyond that, when we are ready
for it, the Real Freedom, Nirvana.
O Lady of the Stars, let me not content till I penetrate the
ultimate bars and am Free---One with the Infinitely Great as with
the Infinitely Small.
XII. The Invisible Foot Prints
Long have I roamed the Earth delighting in the Good, the
Beautiful and the True; ever seeking the spots where these seem
to be most Perfect.
There is joy in this wandering among the flowers of life, but
Thy Joy, O Beloved, is to be desired above all.
Now I seek a resting place, I am set upon a new Quest, to
Worship at Thy feet.
For it is written of Thee: "Bending down, a lambent flame
of blue, all touching, all penetrant, her lovely hands upon the
black earth, and her lithe body arched for love, and her soft
feet not hurting the little flowers."
Oh! That I might discover Thine Invisible Footprints upon the
Earth and there come to the Understanding of Thy Being, O
Beloved.
XIII. The Finger Tips
Or, it may be, O Beloved, I shall discover the imprints of Thy
finger tips amid the flowers or upon the Black Earth.
Hath not Nemo a Garden that he tendeth? Doth he not also
labour in the Black Earth?
Who knoweth when Thy hands may grasp me and draw me up into
Thine arms, there to nestle at Thy breast, to feed upon the Milk
of the Stars?
Beloved, verily this tending of the Garden of the
World---although the labor may seem heavy---leadeth to a Great
Reward. As Thou hast said: "Certainty, not faith, while in
life upon death, rest, ecstasy." Nor dost Thou demand aught
in sacrifice.
What do the Bhaktis know of Love? They see the Beloved
everywhere.
But when I am one with Thee, O Beloved, I shall not see Thee,
for I shall know Theee as Thou art.
XIV. The Well of Stars
I know a hidden well of clearest water. Naught but the coping
of delicate pink onyx is visible until the secret spring be
touched.
Then beware! For above the entrance hangs a fiery sword.
Few find this Well or know its Secret; there are but two roads
leading thereto.
From the broad Mountain summit we may search the slopes for a
vision of the Woodland Delta where grow the Trees of Eternity, or
we may journey through the Valley between the Ivory Hills---if we
fear not the purple shadows and the black pit-fall.
From Thee we came; to Thee may we return, O Well of Living
Stars!
XV. The Icicles of Isis
It hath been written how the Old King dreamed of his banished
peacock, entombed in a palace of ice, who cried: "The
Icicles of Isis are falling on my head."
Thus it is with those who are banished to the Palace of the
Moon---for the Word of Sin is Restriction.
Oh! Lady of the Starry Heavens, let me not become frozen at
the touch of the cold Veil of Isis. For the Moon is but the dead
reflector of the Sun, and He but the youngest of Thy Children of
Light.
Let me lift Thy Peacock Veil of a Million Starry Eyes, O
Beloved!
Show Thy Star Splendour, O Nuit; bid me within Thine house to
dwell!
XVI. Purple Mill
The delicate purple mist streams up from the hills: I watch
and wait for the meaning of it all.
Sometimes it seems like the incense smoke of Aspiration
ascending towards the Sun---giver of Light, Life, Love and
Liberty to the Children of Earth.
But the Sun is going down behind the Mountains, and Thy Starry
Lamps glow in the Sky.
Is not the Lamp above the Altar a symbol of the Desire of the
Higher to draw up the lower to Itself?
So, O Lady of Heaven, I liken the Mist to the life-breath of
Souls who pant for Thee here below.
And I remember Thy words:
- Above, the gemmed azure is
- The naked splendour of Nuit;
- She bends in ecstacy to kiss
- The secret ardours of Hadit.
- The winged globe, the starry blue,
- Are mine, O Ankh-af-na-khonsu!
I, too, would ascend as a delicate purple mist that steams up
from the Hills. Art Thou not all Pleasure and Purple?
XVII. The Infinite Within
I would that I were as the feminine counterpart of Thee, O
Beloved; then would I draw the Infinite within.
Yet since Thy Pure Being must ever be more refined than this
body of mine I should interpenetrate every part of Thee with my
living flesh.
Thus, O Beloved, should we enter into a new and more complete
embrace: not as of earth wherein the male uniteth with the female
by means of the physical organs of love, but with every atom of
my being close pressed to every atom of Thine---within and
without.
Then, O beloved, would I cry unto the Lord of the Primum
Mobile to teach me the Art of the Whirling Motion of Eternity.
Thus, whirling within Thee, our never-ending nuptial feast
shall be celebrated, and a new System of Revolving Orbs be
brought to birth.
Ah! the shrill cry of Ecstacy of that Refined Rapture---the
Orgasm of the Infinite Within.
XVIII. The Rainbow
As I sat in the shelter of the forest glade, my eye caught the
multi-coloured gleam of diamonds. I looked again; the Sun rays
were playing upon the dew which clung to a little curved twig.
It seemed like a tiny rainbow of promise.
Then, while I watched in wonder, a small grey spider bridged
the arch of the bow with his silken thread.
Ah! My Beloved, thus, too, hath the Spider of Destiny woven
his silken rope from extreme to extreme of the Great Rainbow of
Promise.
Fate hath fitted me as an Arrow to the String of Destiny in
the bow of the Sun.
But Whose Hand shall draw that Mighty Bow, O Beloved, and send
me upon fleet wings to my resting place within Thine Heart?
XIX. Dropped Dew
As I came from tending the Rose Garden and was about to return
to my humble shelter, my eyes caught the gleam of dropped dew
like a tiny trail along the path.
It was very early; the Sun had not yet re-arisen; the Stars
still twinkled faintly in the sky.
Who could have come before me to the Garden?
I followed the trail of dew, stooping down so that I saw in
each crystal drop the reflection of a tiny star.
Thus came I to my lady's chamber; she it was who carrying
roses had left this silvery thread as a clue to her hiding place.
When I found her, her eyes were closed, as she pressed the
fragrant the pink blossoms to her white breast.
Then did I bury my face in the blossoms and I saw not her eyes
when she opened them in wonder.
Thus, too, would I follow the Star-trail of Dropped Dew, ere
the re-arisen Sun hides Thee from me, O My Beloved!
Thus would I come to Thee and bury my face in Thy Breast amid
the Roses of Heaven.
Nor should I dare to look into Thine eyes, having discovered
Thy secret---the Dew of Love---the Elixir of Life.
XX. Twilight
Twilight... and in a few brief moments the Stars will begin to
peep. I will await Thee, here amid the heather, O Beloved.
I wait... no stars appear for a mist has stolen up from the
foot of the mountains.
Thus I waited for a sight of Thy Star Body till the cold damp
mist of suppresed emotion chilled my being and my reason
returned.
The woman stood girt with a sword before me. Emotion was
overcome by clarity of perception. Then did I remember Thy words:
"The Khabs is in the Khu not the Khu in the Khabs. Worship
then the Khabs and behold my light shed over ye."
Thus turned I my thoughts within, so that I became
concentrated upon the Khabs---the Star of mine inmost being. Then
did Thy Light arise as a halo of rapture, and I came a little to
lie in Thy bosom.
But I offered one particle of dust---and I lost all in that
hour.
Such is the Mystery of Her who demandest naught in sacrifice.
The twilight is returned.
XXI. The Dog Star
Wisdom hath said: "Be not animal; refine thy rapture! The
canst thou bear more joy!"
I have been like an unleashed hound before Thee, O Beloved. I
have striven towards Thee and Thou seest in me only the Dog Star.
Yet will I not fall into the Pit called Because, there to
perish with the dogs of reason. There is no reason in me; I seek
Understanding, O Mother of Heaven.
Thus, with my face buried in the black earth, do I turn my
back upon Thee. I will refine my rapture.
So Thou mayest behold me as I am, and so Thou shalt Understand
at last, O Beloved; for in reverse Thou readest this DOG aright.
Hast Thou not said: "There is none other?"
XXII. Pot-pouri
The roses are falling. This is the night of the full moon
whereon the children of Sin attend the Sacred Circle.
Therein they will sit divided---but not for love's sake---for
they know Thee not---O Beloved. Into the Elements, the fiery, the
watery, the airy and the earthly Signs are they divided when they
gather at the Full Moon within the forest.
I wandered down the deep shadowy glade, there I espied a tiny
sachet of pot-pouri, dropped---maybe---from the streaming girdle
of one of the maidens.
Tenderly I raised it. Its perfume is like unto the perfume of
her I love. She, too, perhaps, has heard the call of the moon and
is even now on her way to the secret tryst.
But hast Thou not said: "Let there be no difference made
among you between any one thing and any other thing; for thereby
cometh hurt."
What matter then the name of the maiden? What matter the
flowers of which it is composed?
Yet dare I not burn this incense unto Thee, O Beloved, because
of Thine hair, the Trees of Eternity.
Oh! Little sachet of pot-pouri, thou hast reminded me of her I
love, for the roses are falling, it is the night of the Full Moon
and the children of Sin gather to attend the Sacred Circle.
XXIII. Red Swansdown
It hath been told how Parzival shot and brought down the Swan
of Ecstacy as it winged over the Mountain of the Grail.
But there is within the archives another story, unheard by the
ears of men.
From the breast of the Eternal Swan floated one downy feather,
steeped in blood. This did the youngest and least worthy of the
Knights hide tenderly in his bosom till he concealed it within
the hard pillow of his lonely couch.
Night after night that holy pillow became softer; sweeter and
sweeter were his dreams. And one night---the night of the
crowning of Parzival---he was granted the Great Vision wherein
the Stars became like flecks of Swansdown upon the Breast of
Heaven, each living and throbbing, for they were steeped in
Blood.
Then did every atom of his being become a Star racing joyfully
through the Great Body of the Lady of Heaven. Thus in sweet sleep
came he into the Great Beyond.
Grant unto me Thy Pillow of Blood and Ecstacy, O Beloved!
XXIV. Passing Clouds
A dark night: Not a star is visible, but presently the moon
shines out through a rift in the clouds. And I remember,
"The sorrows are but shadows, they pass and are done, but
there is that which remains."
Yet is the moon but illusion.
A dull day: but presently the Sun is seen as the clouds are
dispelled by His light.
Is He that which remains?
Night once more: the Sun is lost to sight, only the moon
reminds me of His presence. The clouds scud swiftly across the
Sky and disappear.
Thy Star Body is visible, O Beloved; all the sorrows and
shadows have passed and there is that which remains.
When clouds gather, let me never forget Thee, O Beloved!
XXV. The Coiled Serpent
Thus have I heard:
The ostrich goeth swiftly; with ease could he outstrip those
who covet his tail-feathers, yet when danger cometh he burieth
his head in the sand.
The tortoise moveth slowly and when embarrased he stoppeth,
withdrawing into his own shell; yet he passeth the hare.
The hare sleepeth when he should be swiftly moving; he runneth
in his dreams thinking himself at the goal.
But the Coiled Serpent hath wisdom, for he hideth his tail and
it is not coveted; he raiseth his head and fears not; he moveth
slowly like the tortoise, yet withdraweth not; he nestles close
to the hare, darting his tongue with swiftness, yet falleth not
asleep by the wayside.
Would that I had the Wisdom of the Coiled Serpent, O Beloved,
for Thou hast said: "Put on the wings, arouse the coiled
splendour within you: come unto me!"
XXVI. Love and Unity
Twenty-six is the numeration of the Inneffable Name, but It
concealeth Love and Unity.
The Four-lettered Name implieth Law, yet it may be divided for
love's sake; for Love is the law.
The Four-lettered Name is that of the elements, but it may be
divided for the chance of Union; for there is Unity therein.
There is but One Substance and One Love and while these be
twenty-six they One through thirteen which is but a half thereof.
Thus do I play with numbers who would rather play with One and
that One Love.
For Thou hast said: "There is naught that can unite the
divided but love!"
And is not Achad Ahebah?
XXVII. The Riddle
What is that which cometh to a point yet goeth in a circle?
This, O Beloved, is a dark saying, but Thou hast said:
"My colour is black to the blind, but the blue and gold are
seem of the seeing. Also I have a secret glory for them that love
me."
And Hadit hath declared: "There is a veil; that veil is
black."
I would that I could tear aside the veil, O Beloved, for
seeing Thee as Thou art, I might see Thee everywhere, even in the
darkness that cometh to a point yet goeth in a circle.
For Hadit, the core of every star, says "It is I that
go," and Thou, Mother of the Stars, criest "To me! To
me!"
Resolve me the Riddle of Life, O Beloved, for loving Thee I
would behold Thy Secret Glory.
XXVIII. Sayings
Isis hath said: "I am all that was and that is and that
shall be, and no mortal hath lifted my veil."
Who cares what is back of the moon?
Jehovah showed his back unto Moses, saying: "No man hath
seen my face at any time."
Who cares to face the elements?
Hadit hath said: "I am life and the giver of life;
therefore is the knowledge of me the knowledge of death."
Who cares to know death?
But Thou, O Beloved, hath said: "I give unimaginable joys
on earth, certainty, not faith, while in life upon death, peace
unutterable, rest, ecstacy; nor do I demand aught in
sacrifice."
Who would not long to invoke Thee under Thy Stars, O Beloved?
XXIX. The Falling Star
Falling, falling, falling! Thus fall the Rays from Thy Body of
Stars upon this tiny planet, O Beloved! Innumerable streams of
Light like Star-rain upon the black earth.
Since every man and every woman is a star, their lives are
like unto streams of light concentrated upon every point in
Space.
As I lay with arms out-stretched, my bare body shining like
ivory in the darkness. my scarlet abbai flung wide, mine eyes
fixed upon the star-lit Heaven; I felt that I, too, was falling,
falling, falling, in an ecstacy of fear and love into the void
abyss of space.
Then did I remember that Thou art continuous. Beneath, above,
around me art Thou. And lo, from a falling star I became as a
comet wheeling in infinite Circles, each at a different angle,
till my course traced out the Infinite Sphere that is the Symbol
of Thee, O Beloved.
Then did I aspire to find the Centre of All.
And even now I am falling, falling, falling.
XXX. Justice
I am a Fool, O Beloved, and therefore am I One or Nought as
the fancy takes me.
Now am I come to Justice, so that I may be All or Naught
according to the direction of vision.
No Breath may stir the Feather of Truth, therefore is Justice
ALone in L. Yet the Ox-goad is Motion and Breath Matter if it be
called the Ox which is also A.
How foolish are these thoughts, which are but as the Sword in
the hand of Justice. They are as unbalanced as the Scales that
stir not, being fixed in the figure of Law above the Court House
of a great City.
But Thou hast said: "Love is the law, love under
will."
And Love is the Will to Change and Change is the Will to Love.
Even in the stern outline of the Scales of Justice do I
perceive the Instrument of Love, and in the Life Sentence, the
Mystery of Imprisonment in Thy Being, O Beloved!
XXXI. Not
Three Eternities are passed... I have outstripped a million
Stars in my race across Thy Breast---The Milky Way.
When shall I come to the Secret Centre of Thy Being?
Time, thou thief, why dost thou rob the hungry babe? Space,
thou hadst almost deceived me.
O Lady Nuit, let me not confound the space-marks!
Then, O Beloved, Thy Word came unto me, as it is written:
"All touching; All penetrant."
Thus left I Time and Space and Circumstance, and every Star
became as an atom in my Body, when it became Thy Body. Now never
shall I be known, for it is I that go.
But Thou, O Beloved, though Thou art infinitely Great, art
Thou not energized by the Invisible Point---the Infinitely Small?
A Million Eternities are Present, Deem not of Change; This is
the Here and Now, and I am
NOT
